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On Haters & Blocking Your Own Abundance

In popular culture, a “hater” is one who puts down those who have made it, or look like they’re about to be successful, whether it’s in their career, love life, income, relationships, etc. While it seems like the only person a hater brings down is the subject of their ridicule, the fact is that having a resentful attitude blocks one’s own abundance. One of the key messages in any abundance lesson is to be happy for others receiving Blessings, as that is a reflection of the abundance that surrounds you, and is available to you as well. Now, you may wonder how a person hating on a rich celebrity affects them, considering they are not looking for the same things in life but it works (or doesn’t work! ) on the same principle as when your coworkers gets a raise and you don’t.

They don’t deserve that! You seethe.

The Universe hears I don’t want that!

Your anger and resentment about that event blocks your own abundance from flowing into your life.

Let’s look at Kim Kardashian’s butt…not literally, or literally if you want to. The magazine that took and published those recent pictures aimed to “break the internet” with the photo shoot, meaning they knew it would have such an impact on popular culture that the internet itself may shatter. Clearly it didn’t because…here we are.

Anywho, the point of this was that Kim K. received not only praise but such bitter backlash that I started to wonder not just about body-shaming but about people’s attitudes towards abundance in their own lives. One comment about the pictures was that Kim should not have taken them, based on the fact that she’s a mother…like mothers have no right to feel sexy, or show their bodies? Like her daughter will be so ashamed that her mother once published naked pictures of herself? If her child is raised in a body-positive home this will be such a non-issue it will be laughable.

Now, if these were “leaked” or “papped” (taken by paparazzi) pictures I would be vehemently against them, as no consent was asked or given. However, these pictures are consensual and joyful. She literally holds a champagne bottle, celebrating! Hating on her and her photo shoot only limits your own joy about your body, and blocks the energy of celebration flowing through your life. You don’t have to be a fan of that person but it makes no sense to block yourself by hating on others. One quick tip to check if you’re blocking yourself is to ask if you’re judging others, rather than being neutral, or even encouraging. It’s pretty clear really quickly if your inner dialogue goes something like “why would she/he/they…” Just because you don’t understand it or wouldn’t do it yourself doesn’t make it ‘wrong.’

Let me share an example: my commute to work, depending on traffic, takes between 25-45 minutes. If I leave at a particular time I experience a driver who really pushed my buttons. From the onramp he skips the merge and instead cruises on the shoulder all the way past traffic for miles and miles. So far past where cars are bumper to bumper that I have never actually seen where he merges back into traffic, or exits. The first time he coasted past me on the shoulder I thought he was a police officer in an unmarked car, as he drives one of those new Dodges(?) that the police use. However, I scanned the inside of the vehicle – no light bars, no search light, no computer, nothing. Not a cop, just a jerk! I was annoyed and incredulous. What the hell is he thinking?! He cannot just drive on the shoulder when he doesn’t feel like sitting in traffic! I calmed myself down, trying to think of other reasons why he would be motivated to do this.

It’s OK, maybe he’s got an emergency, like a friend is in the hospital or something.

By the fourth time, I was enraged and considered calling the real police on him. Then I laughed to myself…why do I care? This guy’s actions don’t affect me. In fact, they are less dangerous than the person who cuts in and out of lanes, trying to get that one car ahead, making others slam on their brakes as they speed past then cut in. So why was I hating on this guy? Because he opted out of the situation I saw myself as ‘stuck’ in? That he refused to stay in the box I considered so “real” and “permanent”? Because he dared to do what I wouldn’t (and still don’t)? What that guy’s story is, I still don’t know. What I do know is that now I laugh when he cruises by - last time he had a lady passenger, and they were laughing too.

This change of attitude may not directly affect my abundance in the sense of bringing $20M to my door but it encourages me to allow more unexpected and radical experiences into my life, permission to do things differently, and be more inventive than before. Feel free to post below times when you’ve been a hater and flipped the script/ turned things around to see the joy or humor in the situation. Did it help?!

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